Billy Collins: Banana School

The day I learned that monkeys

as well as chimps, baboons, and gorillas

all peel their bananas from the other end

and use the end we peel from as a handle,

I immediately made the switch.

I wasted no time in passing this wisdom on

to family, friends, and even strangers

as I am now passing it on to you-

a tip from the top, the banana scoop,

the inside primate lowdown.

I promise: once you try it

you will never go back except

to regret the long error of your ways.

And if you do not believe me,

swing by the local zoo some afternoon

with a banana in your pocket

and try peeling it in front of the cage

of an orangutan or capuchin monkey,

and as you begin, notice

how the monkeys stop what they're doing,

if they are doing anything at all,

to nod their brotherly approval through the bars.

Better still, try it out on the big silverback gorilla.

See if you can get his dark eyes to brighten a bit

as the weight of him sits there in his cage

the same way Gertrude Stein is sitting

in that portrait of her she never liked by Picasso.