Mindy Nettifee: 7 Things I Never Told My Older Sister Because I Know Better, in Reverse Chronological Order

1. if you ever feel like leaving him, renting a rich blue convertible and becoming someone else somewhere in the desert, i’ll go with you


2. thank you for all the horrible and/or dangerous things you did first, so i could learn from your mistakes. specifically: getting herpes, dropping out of school, getting a trendy dream catcher tattoo.


3. i dropped acid with your ex-girlfriend.


4. remember back during your chunky crystals and channeling spirits phase, when you told me in the back seat of a Ford Taurus that you had spoken with my higher self and she was “really worried about me”? i haven’t trusted myself since.


5. i took French in school because you did, and i thought we would be able to have top secret conversations about sex and drugs and rated R films in front of mom. why didn’t we do that?


6. i was the one that destroyed your Black Crowes tape, not the dog.


7. every time you ran away from home, i followed you.