at midnight and daybreak
at noon and dinner too
where blood was concerned
he was a teetotaler
to the considerable chagrin
of the other vampires
and their consorts
come hell or high water he was determined
to form a flock
of vampires anonymous
he campaigned under the waning
and the full and crescent moon
with simple sings declaring
drink water vampires
blood causes cancer
naturally all the chiroptera
assembled in their agora of darkness
decided this was out of the question
why that raving lunatic
might win over the half-hearted vampires
who washed their blood down with herb tea
so one night
with storm clouds on the horizon
five die-hard vampires
thirsty for erythrocytes leucocytes and platelets
surrounded the batty rebel
and put an end to him and his effrontery
when the moon finally
showed its face it saw down below
the hapless corpse of the anonymous vampire
lying in a huge puddle of water
formed by his five gushing wounds
what the moon didn't see
was that the five perpetrators
who had hidden in a treetop
were admitting in spite of themselves
that the stuff didn't taste so bad
since that historic night
neither vampires nor their consorts
have sucked blood they resolved
unanimously to switch to water
as tends to happen in such cases
the remarkable anonymous vampire
is now revered as a martyr
-- translated by Louise B. Popkin
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